Ask Dr. Marc: For Valentine’s Day, I’d like to take my wife, who has dementia, out for a romantic dinner. What can I do to ensure the evening is enjoyable and comfortable for her?

February 2025

Taking your loved one out for a special occasion like Valentine’s Day is a wonderful idea, and with a little planning, it can be a great experience. Dementia can make new environments and changes in routine challenging, but with some thoughtful preparations, you can create a supportive environment that allows you both to enjoy the celebration.

First, consider choosing a restaurant that is familiar to your wife or similar to places she’s enjoyed before. Familiarity can be comforting, reducing anxiety or confusion. Try to pick a quieter restaurant or dine at a less busy time to minimize noise and distractions that could be overwhelming.

Inform the restaurant staff ahead of time about your wife’s needs so they can be accommodating. Request a table that is in a quieter part of the restaurant or has some privacy. This can help reduce stress or distraction for your wife.

Keep the outing brief to prevent fatigue, which is also common for people with dementia. A meal that is too long might become tiring rather than enjoyable. Consider ordering foods that are not only her favorites but also easy to eat if motor skills are a concern.

Lastly, bring along items that she finds comforting or enjoyable, such as a favorite piece of music to play on the drive there or a small photo album to browse through while waiting for your meal. These can help soothe and engage her if she feels anxious or restless.

By focusing on your wife’s comfort and enjoying the simple act of being together, you’ll make Valentine’s Day special for both of you. Remember, the goal is to enjoy each other’s company in a way that feels safe and loving for her.

Each month, Dr. Marc Rothman, our CEO and a seasoned geriatric expert, addresses your concerns, providing practical advice and compassionate solutions to the challenges faced by those caring for loved ones with dementia. Whether you’re looking for strategies to manage daily care routines or need clarity on medical aspects of dementia, Dr. Marc is here to help. Join us to explore his responses to community questions and submit your own queries to deepen your understanding and enhance your caregiving journey.

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